What is Domestic Violence?
Abusing a partner physically, emotionally, mentally, verbally, financially, or sexually is called domestic violence. It is also called “battering” and in Indian communities “Indian Love”. Are you being controlled or dominated? If so, you are in an unhealthy relationship. Abuse has many different faces, it can be obvious or very subtle. It is still abuse.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
If you are being abused:
- Don’t blame yourself
- Think about leaving or finding support whenever possible and as soon as possible
- Plan for your safety
- Seek help
The abuser wants all the control:
- Makes all the decisions
- Controls all the money
- Acts very possessive
- Needs to win every argument and have the last word
- May demand sex after an argument to “make-up”
- Humiliates you in public or in front of your children, friends, and/or family.
Some signs that domestic violence may be happening:
- Do you worry that your partner is jealous?
- Are you afraid of his/her temper?
- Are you avoiding friends?
- Are you seldom seen in public?
- Do you feel low and depressed?
- Do you apologize a lot for your behavior and blame yourself?
An abuser may:
- Have a bad temper
- Have a hard time showing feelings other than anger
- Threatens to hurt you, the children or him/herself
- Breaks things and/or abuses pets
- Throws things at you, or hits, shoves, or kicks you
What is emotional abuse?
Emotional abuse happens when someone insults, or intimidates, or threatens, or humiliates, or uses mind-games to control or manipulate another person. People who suffer from domestic violence and/or emotional abuse should seek help and support immediately if possible. Abuse always gets worse with time. Women who are abused usually feel sad, angry, alone, ashamed, isolated, unworthy or angry and often blame themselves.
Discounts your feelings and views
- Puts you down, makes fun of you or embarrasses you
- Tells you that you are stupid, or incompetent or worthless
- Is jealous or critical of your friends and family
- Says you are “too sensitive” if you complain
Confuses and/or frightens you
- Blames you or other for his or her anger
- May be tender one moment and mad the next
- Uses threats, intimidation or physical force against you
What can you do?
Have a Safety Plan:
Call the Nest 866-378-6378, we will help you plan and protect yourself, your children and your pet. Planning ahead may save your heath and even your life. Any way you get to us, we will help!
Plan ahead if you can
- Pack a bag: clothes, money or a checkbook and important papers
- Keep the bag in a safe place, with a friend or family
- Keep a list of phone numbers for the police, shelter, relatives and friends. Keep the list where you can find it
Find a safe place
- Go to a shelter, call 866-378-6378 or go to The Nest Domestic Violence Shelter, 26374 US Highway 70 East, Ruidoso Downs
- Go to a friend or family member’s home
- Go to a motel/hotel. Save enough money to pay for 1 night if possible