For over eight years, Raul Luevano’s mother lived with regular physical and mental abuse.
“As the oldest child, I would gather my sister and brother and take them into my bedroom and do my best to keep them quiet, but at the same time, I always had an ear out for my mom in case she needed help.”
Luevano does not know what kind of help he could have provided at age six but recalls feeling very much like an adult. “I never went to friends’ houses because I was afraid my Mom would be killed. And forget having people over. I didn’t want friends to witness the violence we lived with. My father was charming, most people thought he was a great guy, but behind closed doors, he was an angry and jealous man. You just never knew what was going to set him off”.
Tears fill his eyes as Luevano recounts his childhood with the abuser in the house. His father berated the children about anything and everything. “I loved tomatoes as a kid and he ridiculed me for it. Of the three children, I was the one who took the majority of his abuse. My sister was his little princess, which meant anytime she cried or was upset, he blamed me and punished me accordingly. My father blamed other people for everything.”
“He blamed my mother for the abuse and making him the way he was. Yet every time he saw her, he would be sure to remind her that she was ‘nothing, worthless and would never find anyone,’” says Raul. “One time he hit me so hard, the band on his watch broke. Seeing the broken band, he hit me again and again- blaming me for the broken watch band.”
When Luevano was seven years old, his mother decided to go out with some girlfriends one evening. That was when the abuse culminated in a horrifyingly violent incident. His father went ballistic. Using a razor blade, he carved a V into her face.
After seeking emergency medical treatment at the hospital, she never returned home to her husband. She filed for divorce, but that didn’t mean the nightmare was over.
“My mother was Superwoman. She got two jobs to support us. She was always working but still living in the shadow of his control. Her life was work and children,” says Luevano, now 34. His father was ordered to pay $300 per month in child support, but never did. Often, there was no food in the house.
Luevano recalls a signature meal he and his siblings created out of bread, garlic and mustard. “You know what? We still crave it, probably because we relied on it for so long,” he said.
Luevano’s father would use visitation exchanges to intimidate his ex-wife. “I was fifteen and it had been seven years since their divorce. My father came in the house and started screaming at my mother. He called her a “whore” and a “slut” and told her she was not allowed to have friends. That time, I did it. I stepped in the middle of them and told him, “Get the hell out of this house.”
Incredulously, his father stopped yelling and left the house.
“I had the same dreams all through childhood. My father was this huge, ugly monster and we were running from him or trying to hide from him,” states Luevano.
“I’ve known my whole life I don’t want to be anything like him, but it’s still my biggest fear,” says Luevano. “I don’t have a relationship with my father and I don’t want one.”
Eight years ago, his mother did find true love and in their stepfather, he and his sister found the father of whom they had always dreamed. “Even though my mom is in a healthy relationship with her husband, I carry the fear of her being killed with me. It’s always present. I lived with it so long, it’s hard to shake.”
Luevano is a strong survivor of domestic violence. His experience as a child victim and witness has forever changed his life. Luevano has chosen to go public with his story, in hopes of saving another child, another mother. HEAL applauds his strength and courage for stepping forward to shed light on the devastating effects of domestic violence on children.
HEAL and the Nest Domestic Violence Shelter in Ruidoso Downs offer free and confidential services for victims of domestic violence, including shelter, transportation, counseling, education and employment assistance and legal advocacy. Call toll-free 866-378-6378 for further information. Professional counselors and advocates are available 24/7 at the Nest and on the hotline.
Pictured is Raul Luevano.
Business Spotlight:
The Nest is fortunate to have generous friend in the business community. When our hot water heater went out of commission with a shelter full of women and children, it was important to get a new one installed quickly. Board Member Mike Myers located a new water heater and Carl Parsons from Parsons plumbing and Heating installed our new hot water heater free of charge. Thank you, Carl!