The month of October is national Domestic Violence Awareness Month. As this important month comes to a close, Help End Abuse for Life (HEAL) would like to celebrate and honor the men in Lincoln County who are visionaries of a future free of violence and oppression.
HEAL is the nonprofit organization that operates the Nest Domestic Violence Shelter in Ruidoso Downs. The mission of HEAL is to coordinate and offer support services and safe haven for victims and survivors of domestic violence.
HEAL’s volunteer Board of Directors consists of various stakeholders and over half are men from the Lincoln County community committed to eradicating domestic violence and restoring the lives of survivors.
Joe Gomez, immediate Past President of HEAL, has served on the board for almost four years. Gomez admits before he started working with HEAL, he didn’t know much about domestic violence. “During our first board retreat, we all shared our experiences and I was shocked to find that some of the (previous) board members who traveled in the same business and community circles had quietly endured their own battles with domestic violence.”
Gomez takes his inspiration from the residents of the Nest.
He recalls his first Christmas party at the Nest when Santa arrived by fire truck to the delight of the children. “I noticed one woman who must have been in her thirties. She was so excited to see Santa and sit on his lap and it occurred to me that this may be the first time she isfree to celebrate Christmas.”
Gomez is alarmed by the increasing incidences in domestic violence both nationally and locally. “I don’t know if I can make a difference, but I’m here to try,” says Gomez.
Mike Myer’s journey to the HEAL Board came about as a result of wanting to do something nice for the women and children of the Nest.
He and his wife made plans to take the ladies and their children to a show at Mountain Annie’s. A few weeks later, he contacted Funtrackers in Ruidoso who allowed him to bring a group of mothers and their children for an afternoon of complimentary fun.
Shortly thereafter, Myers was approached by HEAL’s Executive Director Coleen Widell about serving on the board.
Myers shares that his mother in law and daughter were both involved in abusive relationships. He appreciates the process the women must go through before they decide to leave their partners. “These women need someone to listen to them. We can’t make the decision for them. The stories of survivors, who make it out and began their life again, like Sweet Charity’s Celina De La Garza, that’s what I focus on,” says Myers.
Since joining the Board, Myers has become the go-to guy for things that need fixing around the Nest. “If it needs to be done, someone has to do it.”
Jamie Estes joined the Board at the urging of another board member, but in the beginning, he was unsure of where he fit in. “One day I left a board meeting and outside the gates of the shelter was a woman with two children who looked to be the victims of abuse. From that moment on, I knew where I belonged. Whatever evil had caused that haunted look in that family, that had to be stopped.”
Aside from his responsibilities as Board member and President of the HEAL Board, Estes looks forward to joining in the celebrations of survivors. “The candlelight vigils where residents share their experiences with domestic violence are gut wrenching, but when they talk about having found a safe haven here at the Nest, it makes me proud to be a part of such a wonderful organization.”
“Our shelter staff works in the shadows for a reason, but the public has to know about our many success stories. These are stories that need to be heard,” says Estes.
Estes credits the Lincoln County Community for making the shelter the safe haven it is today.
Danny Sisson joined the Board after witnessing the scars of abuse on an employee at a Ruidoso business he frequented. “Everything I do is family oriented, so making the move to the Nest and being able to help the women and children heal from the abuse and start new lives is incredibly fulfilling.”
Sisson says his time on the Board has changed him. “I can’t help looking a little bit harder at the families I encounter and watching how the male responds to and treats his partner. This is something that we need to teach our children from a young age. A real man respects a woman. Hitting a woman doesn’t make you a man, it makes you a jerk,” cautions Sisson.
Sisson’s goals for service on the Board are clear, “We need to educate the community and foster community support. Our community has been good to us, but we may have to rely on them even more if projected budget cuts come in to play in 2012.”
Friday October, 28, 2011
The Ruidoso News