Attendees of Ruidoso’s Aspenfest Parade were thrilled, amused and excited by one float in particular, the float that was put together by a team of progressive volunteers at Help End Abuse for Life (HEAL) and The Nest.
The float was unique in many ways. It contained a large, six-foot red stiletto surrounded by men strutting the streets of midtown in their matching red high heels. Banners on the float called this interesting event.
The campaign focuses on gender violence and stems from the practice of empathy, with a literal twist.
“I learned so many things,” HEAL President Mark Chino said. “I learned how important it is for men to actually put themselves there – empathize and sympathize – in all situations. I learned we don’t make enough effort, and we take our situations for granted, that women’s issues are something we don’t think about unless we see it on a poster. It’s all a passing thought and it’s not pulled back out until we’re reminded again.”
HEAL board member Rick Hutchison echoed Chino’s thoughts, adding, “We should appreciate what women do for men. This experience makes me aware of the place victims are and it was important for us to stand up and say, “no more.’” He mentioned being grateful for the supportive audience. “The response from the crowd was incredible. People were thanking us. The blisters and pain are well worth it.”
Brendan Gochenour, HEAL Treasurer and unofficial chef at The Nest, said, “A lot of times victims suffer in silence – domestic violence is private, and many people don’t want to get involved. I hope victims realize we do care by watching us do that – by seeing that we’re willing to do anything to help them.”
Gochenour added that he got great satisfaction from taking a stand. “Whoever invented those shoes should be tarred and feathered,” he said, “But I feel proud and I’m on cloud nine. It was humbling and embarrassing but it helped me realize that women have a very different path in life. It is funny how a pair of high heels really translated that message for me.”
Though the event played off with a light-hearted tone, the message is crucial to understand.
The heels show support for survivors where they believe they have none. The walk is a stand against violence – a proclamation that it will not be tolerated within our community – to dispel the thought that our community is willing to mind its own business when a life is in danger. The act of walking in someone’s shoes is a willful act of empathy and engagement.
These messages are important because they unite our community and gently, through humor, nudge us to have conversations about difficult topics, like violence against women and girls.
Life truly is different for women than it is for men. The courageous male models for HEAL’s Aspenfest Parade float are role models in this community who opened themselves up to potential criticism and ridicule by donning red stilettos and publicly taking a stand against violence. HEAL salutes these men; Mark Chino, Rick Hutchison, Brendan Gochenour, Mike Myers, Mike Rice, Chris Weaver, Daryl Smith, Michael Friberg and Paul Chez Sanchez.
The men who participated in the parade returned home for a sleepy Saturday afternoon after braving the cold weather and blisters but, for victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault, the walk will continue, day in and day out, for the rest of their lives. That is what makes this event so important.
